the 'imperfectly perfect' me...

Thursday: At times, I would be thinking for days and I wouldn't know what to write about. Then there will be this talk I have with my girls (8 years- going on 10 and 3 years- going on 8!!!) and I have ideas running in my head...

My elder one and I often have these talks about my childhood, my work life, our life in Dubai, my single days. It often ends up in laughter as most of the stories don't sound like it was 'me'. She can't believe that her mum could have also made mistakes (or still does) and that I am 'imperfect'. A recent incident of me misplacing my younger one's all-time favorite 'Minnie Mouse' umbrella in a public bus, excited her as for a change it was my time to apologise to the 3-year old!

Over the years we all change. Even I have. More so after becoming a mother. If my elder one has taught me to be perfect, the younger one has taught me to 'chill'. If my home is 'spic and span', my cupboard is not. If I am 'perfect with my work deadlines', my route to deliver is surely not (more often than not am sweating about finishing a feature and my notes are a mess). If my husband asks for a paper, I am first to point a finger at him for misplacing it. Landing up at the airport with wrong flight tickets (thank god now for e-tickets), even on a wrong day, many a times walking out of my apartment without the keys, all this was norm for me. Yet I stood tall, independent, ready to face any challenge. My mum often worried (I'd like to believe she doesn't worry any more) and hoped that I would have a 'trouble free' day soon.

Today I stand at another crossroad of my life. It seems like a 'pit stop' I took and now it's time to move on. The girls have grown up (with one  getting independent day by day and the other in a big hurry to get there), they need me lesser (except for the rare school visits). But the last four years have changed me drastically- I have learnt to ease up, enjoy every moment I have, not sweat over the mistakes I make (even if it's related to motherhood) and surely not be too busy.

My venture into 'writing' was a path I discovered. It comes from my nature of 'accepting change' easily and 'being brave'. Brave to try something new, to fail, to fall and still get up and walk. I attribute that to the 'start up' streak in me.

After almost four years , I recently undertook a PR project for an old client of mine from my Dubai days. I was nervous. The expectations from me were high. I stumbled too but I absolutely enjoyed doing it. It proved PR is my 'first love' (and the only career I ever had). So what's next for me? Should I go back to my first love or stick to my new fond hobby. My likelihood of succeeding in PR is probably more, but it may take away a lot of the intangible luxuries I have so got used to. Then I remind myself- to be brave and to be ready for every change! I will let time take its course on this one....

The mesage this TED talk left me with is apt- to be comfortable with imperfection (click to read)- a lesson I have been working overtime on to impart to my 8-year old!!The strength to raise her hand in a class and admit that she doesn't get it, to accept she is not perfect with her Chinese and her spellings (though she forever argues that she will always have 'spell check' for back-up), and just to follow her heart. I think she is 'right' about the spellings bit- don't think her generation will ever write on paper!! 

The 8-year old's project

The last few days she had been talking of a project she has been working on at school. Even the 3-year old was curious of the status everyday. So today I was at her school to attend the exhibition.  Her's wasn't the best one, but it was an effort made from the heart and with no help- so it was special. The tower she created is a perfect example of her walking on the path of being 'imperfectly perfect'.

what's with winning....

Thursday: As the day progressed, the web was flooded with views on a speech rendered by a woman minister in the Indian cabinet. Just to highlight, am far away from Indian politics and have never had any interest/passion on that subject. But the reactions to this speech got me intrigued. Why was everyone reacting so much? Social media platforms of renowned journalists, media houses, friends- everyone was talking about it.

Smriti Irani- Minister of HRD (India)

The curious cat in me got me hooked on too- and what a speech! After ages, I saw an Indian politician speak with so much compassion, emotions and frustration. The recent incidents at several educational institutions has had it's impact on the lady. Did she mean it all? Was it all from the heart? Not something I can answer. But for me (personally), it was after years that I heard an entire political speech and have been following the reactions online.

Will her speech convert into action, will we see quick results? Or is this all one big PR game- no one can tell.
 
Friday: I recently signed up for my 1st trail run. Well for many it's no great shakes but for me it's one-step ahead of what I have done so far. It's a challenge I have thrown at myself- the new route, the uneven terrain, and being part of something new. I chanced upon The Green Race Ultra Challenge, a few days back and promptly signed up for it. 

I had a lot of thoughts in my mind- running a 10km after long (do I really need to), will I be able to train myself or am I just going to go with the flow? As expected I have been 'going with the flow'. I think what excited me the most was the route. I have been craving to run on the Bukit Timah nature belt and this race offered that route.

The race bib

The race day is tomorrow and strangely I don't feel nervous. Usually my previous evening to any race is a bit mellow. I try to wind down and take things easy. Ironically, tonight I am going to watch a late night movie. I also haven't been training to my best. Except for my usual running routine, I haven't made any extra efforts.

My talk with my 3-year old this morning, may just make the race a wee bit easier. I mentioned to her that I would be away at my race when she wakes up tomorrow morning. To which she quipped, "Will you be winning a gold or silver tomorrow?" My answer to her was, "If I finish the race I am a winner- don't need to get a gold or silver." 

She jokingly added, "Is that all it takes to win and so getting the gold and silver is not so important right." Hopefully she learnt a life-lesson this morning....

Bun-Tea!!

There are times when you meet someone and you know that he surely has a story to tell. A first encounter with Ganesh Arun Mulajker (don't think anyone calls him by that name anymore) alias 'Bunty' got me intrigued.

The story starts like this- a few weeks back,we decided to plan a short weekend get-away from Singapore. Our destination choices in the region were plenty- Kohsamui, Cambodia, Vietnam, Bali, Krabi. 

Krabi has always been special. As a couple this was our first overseas trip 13 years ago, a year before the famous 'Tsunami' hit the island. Our first 'backpacking' holiday. So taking the kids back there sounded exciting. Of course the hotel and our requirements were different now- a good hotel by the beach with a kids club, nice restaurants, and enough activities to do as a family. 

Si Kao, Trang Province

As we zeroed in on our hotel- Ananatara, Si Kao in Trang province, one name popped up in every research- Bunty! Every person had something 'special' to tell about the guy. So the name stayed in my mind.

Just as we entered the hotel lobby, this wide smiled (seemed like an Indian) guy welcomed us and said, "Hi, I am Bunty". I had a bigger smile on my face and wondered what's with the guy. As we settled into our holiday, Bunty was quick to gauge that we don't like the crowds and preferred 'off the cuff activities'. 

Everything that Bunty recommended worked perfectly for us. During breakfast time, you could hear tonnes of people calling out for Bunty. Bunty even had his special way to convey that he cares - our 3-year old even had fever one evening. We happened to mention it to Bunty. A few hours later, lovely balloons and an even better worded card was at delivered to our room (as in the picture).

So what was special about Bunty- his personal touch, his ability to connect with anyone- young or old, knowing the names of all the odd 100-room guests, creating personalised itineraries for them, being seen around the hotel anytime of the day (or maybe even the night). He was surely not your 'usual' concierge guy. 

'Bunty' Mulajker

I was itching to hear Bunty's 'real' story-  what was it like for him to be working in a remote island like Si Kao, doesn't he miss India, does he have Indian friends and many more. My few minutes spent with Bunty at his office gave me a quick recap of his journey. It can easily be passed off as a 'Bollywood' film script as well. 

His tryst with Thailand started 22 years ago in Bangkok and several jobs later he landed in Hua Hin and now Si Kao. His knowledge of the region will amuse you. He enjoys Thai food more than Indian food, speaks Thai better than Marathi, his family home that he misses is not in Pune but in Hua Hin.
 
I was still curious about the name 'Bunty'. How did he get that name? Even that has a story to it- as a kid he used to have a lot of 'bun' and 'tea'. So his parents used to call him 'Bunty'. So following the Thai tradition of having a 'nickname', he called himself 'Bunty' from the day he landed in Thailand.

Normally at the end of any holiday, you come back with loads of memories of things you did, food you ate, places you visited. For us, Bunty will be a big part of it and like the others I mentioned about him too in my online reviews!  

cracked the code...

January-  The first month is about to end and everyone is settled into their routine. The month has zipped by (atleast for me). With some new projects underway, everyday has been a new chapter. Some I enjoyed and some I didn't. Thankfully I am able to make that choice and only 'do' what I truly enjoy doing.

I recently took on an assignment to write for a leading local portal. With my past year's experience of writing for online portals, I thought this would just be an extension. My first few meetings were an eye opener- young team, different dynamics, writing for a different target audience, interaction with a diverse team- challenges were galore. To top it all, I had to undergo hours of software training to familiarise myself with the systems, just so I could be independent and be able to write from anywhere. I have been far and away from words like SEO, coding, permalink, meta description!!

Like I mentioned in my previous blog, there is 'no age' to do something new. This was another test for that. An 18-year old, highly capable, highly patient lad training me. He probably could see fear on my face every time I tried to upload a story. Am sure he had a good laugh later. So did I. Even my elder one would try to hand hold me and worry if I uploaded my story the 'right' way. Three weeks and I can proudly say, I can sit 'anywhere' and file my stories now!

Friday: Yes it's Friday and this day feels like a festival in our house. Everyone is upbeat about the weekend, each one starts talking of what they wish to do. The younger one waits for her 'date with the dad' which happens on Saturday's. That's her 'alone' time with him. The elder one on the other hand researches on stuff that we can do as a family. Is it a trail, some roller blading, cycling, a new park to go or just a movie we can watch.

Spiti Valley

I have spent most of my Friday morning researching for my 'solo' trip I am undertaking in the summer. A 2-week volunteering trip to Spiti (North of India) with an organisation called 'Ecosphere'. Yes am excited but also super nervous. To be away in unknown land, all by myself will feel strange. Hopefully this will be a lifetime experience and I will bring back some memories that I can cherish for life and share with the girls as they grow. 

What am I excited about- a trip by myself after years, to be part of a 'grassroots programme'- a first time for me and use my skill sets to their benefit, the stories I am going to tell the girls once I come back.

What am I nervous about (the list is longer)- will I scrape through the 2 weeks, meeting and staying with strangers, will I miss family, how will I survive without my mobile and the internet, will I get cold feet. Hopefully all this will convert into excitement as the days get closer. I am sure I need to spend the next few months building up my mental strength more than my physical. I think my biggest high will be when I decide to do a similar volunteer programme with my elder one and this maybe a good story to exchange between us.

When I used to work in Dubai, we often used the word "Inshallah" with the hope that everything will go right. The word fits in perfectly with my current state of mind. Only time will tell where this experience will take me. As for now Happy Friday to all!

happiness and fears

3am- My phone flashes a light. I have just received a 'whatsapp' message from a dear cousin who lives in the US. Five years ago, whatsapp wasn't a part of my life but today, a lot of my relationships/ friendships have survived/ sustained because of the whatsapp groups I am part of.

I have family groups, even with in that I have groups with immediate family, cousins and then of course the friends circle. This varies from dear college buddies, to friends I have made over the years. These groups today make sure that I stay connected and probably have also made me closer to some of my friends and cousins over the years. 

We exchange pictures, reviews of movies, any family updates. I may not have seen that person for years but the communication has kept the relationship alive. We are together yet we are not. Even when I go to watch a movie alone, I feel am not alone..one of the groups would have posted a review of that movie or sent out a message asking about the same!

Friends I have made over the years who are now far away don't seem so far. We can safely say that emails took over snail mails and now whatsapp has taken over even phone calls. Birthday and anniversary greetings now come via whatsapp messages, real time exchange of videos and photos make sure we don't even need to post pictures on any social media platform. Even grandparents have got hooked onto it and wait for updates on it. 

I still recollect the first time I heard about whatsapp (five years ago??), and mentioning it to a friend that "God another software to complicate our lives". But alas, it has redefined a lot of friendships and relationships in my case. Even my husband and I communicate during the day via whatsapp! So what if we don't talk we atleast chat!!

Wonder what's going to come next after whatsapp. Hope we don't stop communicating with each other...

December- After years we stayed back in Singapore this year in December. But we probably had a more hectic holiday than any vacation we have undertaken. Visit by grandparents and dear friends made this one of the best reunions we have had in years. The kids were waiting for each other, the adults had their own agenda and boy, what a reunion it was! From the giggles, to the silly jokes, to the outings, the late night chats, kids bonding over movies and popcorn, this is surely what priceless memories are made of.

 
As a child I have fond memories of spending my holidays in my grandmum's home or spending my holidays watching back to back movies late into the night with dear friends and staying over with them.

Of course as part of the holidays we undertook several outings but one of them left a mark on me- A grand course at the Forest Adventure! The younger kids did the kids course and the older ones did the grand course...As I embarked on the adventure, I had a lot of questions in my mind- why the hell do I need to do this at this stage of my life, will I ever get over my fears and complete the course, and of course I needed a lot of deep breadths as I went on. Be it the zipline (click the video), the tarzan swing or the tight rope walks, each one seemed tougher and my fears swayed as I went on. 

Kids course by the younger ones

But yet I tried hard not to give up. Of course having two 11-year old's doing it with such ease was a bit consoling.Strangely they had to hand hold us more than vice versa. This adventure seemed nothing less than being a part of the popular TV show- Fear Factor (for me). It was all about getting over my mental fears rather than physical. And by the end of it I think I surely did get over a few. It also just proved that there is 'no age' to get over any of your fears. For me it's always been about heights and speed and a roller coaster ride and this adventure were surely baby steps towards getting over some of my worst fears.

So what's next? Maybe a kayaking course (with no training in swimming??)...another fear I have had and hopefully I will scrape through that as well....a high point to start 2016 and hopefully will end it on a high as well!

running short.....

I have been a regular short-distance runner (mind you only outdoor) for about two years now. Like my age I'd like to believe that even my running has evolved and it has meant different things to me at different stages.

perfect weather @ 8am..

When I started two years ago, it was for a purpose. I was told it will help me to loose weight faster. From my first 1km jog, I pushed myself along and got to my 1st 5km. That journey had it's challenges too- is my pace consistent, do I need someone to run along with, should I monitor my runs? 

Finding the answers to all these was never easy, but with my 'sole objective' of shedding those kilos, none of these took precedence.Time passed and within a year I ran a few 10km's (even a 12km run). By this period even my weight loss campaign had succeeded. I had shed close to 13 kilos and it was the fittest I had ever been.

What next? Now the goal was achieved. Did I have a new goal for myself? Did I have a

Pit-stop for a selfie

half-marathon on sight? Nope. But yet I enjoyed my runs. I craved for them mid-week and couldn't wait for the weekend. Did I need a partner? Nope was the answer. I often crossed paths with my husband (during an early morning hour), but we never joined each other.

Is it my 'me time'? No- not really- yes am alone when I run but I have a purpose in mind (to run my set distance). Someone once very nicely told me, "Me time has to be without a purpose. It means total unwinding time." For me the runs are more about 'thinking time'. They help me to sort out my day, my articles, my ideas, my chores and give me the time to listen to my favourite playlist.

There are 'lazy' days (like today), when I just couldn't make it for my 5:30am run. I often itch till the kids are packed off to school, and I find my routes to run (sometimes it's on the road after school drop-offs), sometimes it's at a trail I get to.

So what's with my run these days? Is it a new route? Is it about running more? Or is it to run faster? For me it has a different goal each time. If it's about a new elevation, the next week it maybe a new route, maybe a different time of the day and sometimes it maybe just about running more...

But happily, now it's a part of me, something I wait to do. It's no longer about wanting to run a half-marathon- it's just about me enjoying my run.....