Monday 15 December 2014

so what's in a name...

literally! what's in a name?? every time you meet someone, and the first thing you exchange is a name! Strangely a lot can be said about the person from the name, atleast the country I come from, more often than not you can.

I read this piece recently and it got me thinking.. http://www.youthkiawaaz.com/2014/11/changing-surnames-after-marriage/

We had some friends over for lunch yesterday. And coincidentally this topic came up again. It was already on my mind, and I was only waiting for those 'free 20' minutes to put it all together...

After all these years, today I prefer to be called by my 'short name'. My full name is hardly used (except on my legal status). 

I have had huge debates when I got married to retain my maiden name. But legally then, the process was 'easier' if I shifted to my 'married' name. And so the shift was made. I always felt it should be a matter of 'choice'. Even whether you decide to take on your dad or mums' name or sometimes both. 

The solution could be that when you turn 18 years, you get to make that choice. Thankfully, I had parents who had the same family name, so the debate never arose for me. But in my kids case, I have added my family name to theirs. I am not sure what they will retain or drop it when they marry, but I would like that decision to be made out of choice!

More often I am also questioned on why I named my elder girl 'Zoya'. This name is associated with a certain race (that I or my spouse don't belong to). It was tough for family and friends (then) to accept it. But we thought very 'openly'. The moment we heard the name, we loved it. The meaning was even more beautiful. We never once looked at it from a 'racial' perspective. Was that my 'forward thinking' or was it me living at that point in Dubai and being used to hearing that name? I am not sure. 

My younger one carries a more 'normal' Indian name-Ira, thought this often gets twisted to 'Era' or 'Aira'.

We often have debates at home on this whole 'family name' topic. And of course my voice is a bit strong on this issue.  Seeing the Chinese system, where the middle name is often the family name, we have even got school letters addressed to the dad as 'Aditya Menon Gupta'. It thrills my daughters to see my name tagged along to their father's. But India, this is close to impossible.

I don't think there is 'one' right answer to this issue. Every society probably follows a different norm. But I still feel, the individual should have the 'choice' that they can make at a later stage in life.

Monday 8 December 2014

i survived....

I had no plans to write this blog but a close friend asked me this morning "where is the blog on your run yesterday"... I thought it may be boring to read again and again on my runs but on second thoughts this one was different and probably for the first time the feelings of completing this run was mixed!

I normally feel like a 'winner' after each run but yesterday after completing my 10km run at The Standard Chartered Marathon Singapore 2014, I felt like a 'survivor'.
The Salveo Mantra runners

A few months back, 4 of us from our running club- Salveo Mantra decided to run this race. I had run a 10km run a few weeks back, so it wasn't that unnerving for me (well that's what I thought)! But the day had different plans for me!

This category had 27,000 people running this year. For a second, I felt like I was running a 100 mt race. Is it that easy to run a 10km?? Getting to the 'start' line took us 25 minutes. So the frustrations had already set in. The sun was blazing at 7:30am!

The previous night while chatting with my husband, he had advised me that my goal with this race should be to better my time by 5-7 minutes as compared to my last run. So that was the goal I set out with in the morning.

Two kilometers into my run, and I could feel the pressure of the sun! I knew this 'run' was going to be tough. I had to reset my goals! So I decided to switch off my Runtastic and my borrowed Garmin watch. This race wasn't anymore about pace or speed. It was now all about just getting to the finish line. I just had to complete this race. 

I don't know if it was the heat, the crowd, the route but it all seemed to add up. At several points I gave up and started walking. Something I have never done since I started running. All through I had several thoughts that pushed me- thoughts of the Half and Full Marathon runners, if they could, then I should surely try to finish mine, of my running club friends, hope they were fine and hanging on.

Was it just me giving up? Thankfully it wasn't. I had tonnes of people around me in walking mode. Struggling and pulling myself I got to the finish line. Though when I reached the finish line, this time around I was more relieved than excited. Strangely, even my timing wasn't all that bad after all considering I walked so much!

As I walked home from the train station, I had tonnes of people smiling at me seeing my 10km bib! I felt like a proud school girl returning home with a medal that I could show off to my two little girls! My feeling of disappointment had changed to a sense of pride.

My running in this race may have had a purpose. It probably made me mentally a bit more stronger. My determination was put to test yesterday. Will it be a half marathon next? Only time will tell....

Friday 5 December 2014

the joy of playing..

Normally when I write my blog, I write my piece first and then figure out the title (like how PR people are used to writing). But today for the first time, I knew my title before what I was going to write...

A few days back while chatting with my friends, a sudden idea to play badminton sprung up. So after all the logistics were worked, out, we managed to find 2 'suitable' days to play. We also decided to keep it simple, and start playing at the court in our complex (though it's not the standard court size). We promised ourselves that if we manage to sustain, then we shall venture out and play at a 'professional' court.

And so we got going. The first few sessions were tough. Thankfully most of us are at the same level, so the sense of achievement when you play is high!

For me personally, this game has a special spot. Most people wouldn't know that I was part of the Maharashtra (under-14 category) team when in school. It saw me travel to play tournaments (in those days, travel meant by non-AC sleeper class, some times unreserved too). But it probably gave me my biggest high. I wasn't the greatest in studies, and the feeling to excel (even if it was in a sport), was a great morale booster. I still remember craving for my 'first' Yonex racquet. I had to wait more than two years as it was out of reach for me (financially and geographically- Yonex wasn't available in India those days).

The three years I played 'serious' badminton, taught me some good lessons of success and failure. The agony of being alone at tournaments (with no family around) and hiding the tears after losing was never easy. In hindsight, those experiences probably toughened me up.

My departure from the game was equally painful. A torn ligament, with clear instructions from the doctor to stay away from 'strenuous' physical activity for a year, took me away from the game. I still recollect the train journey I took from Pune-Mumbai (all by myself), after injuring my foot at a tournament at the National Defence Academy (Khadakvasla). Throughout that 2-hour journey, I had tears (for losing out) and bigger fears on what the future holds for me. I hadn't seen anything beyond the sport in those three years.

But like everything, life is always sorted. A few years later, all this just remained a memory. While talking to my 7-year old and telling her how excited I am to get back to the game, I think she could see the glow in my eyes. Of course, she still can't believe that I had to wait for two years to earn my first Yonex racquet!

Monday 1 December 2014

a new start....

The other day I threw a question at my 7-year old! I asked her to list festivals in 'her' order of preference...her order went as follows:
- Diwali
- X'Mas
- Halloween
- Onam
- Holi (and she specified I haven't really experienced this as yet!)

Of course as a typical Indian, this list is not ideal but seeing the way she has been brought up and exposed to different cultures, this list is truly ideal. Anyway that's not what I am going to touch upon today..

A few months back, we (me and a few close friends) were casually scanning the list of marathons in Singapore (of course to see what we could run next), and our eyes fell on the 'Santa Run for Wishes'. Immediately, we thought why can't we the kids run this one! 2.2km for the 7-year old's and 5km for the 10-year old's! It seemed like the perfect fit.
10-year old's Anya and Eshaan who ran their 1st 5km

And then over the next few weeks, the kids had some fun times while training. Loop runs, early morning wake ups, weekend runs, pulling them out of play time on weekdays... sometimes it was even tough. But we felt that the kids were ready for this and it would be a thrilling experience for them.

The race day arrived, and we had made pairs (of parents) to run with the kids. Tonnes of parents and kids had landed up for the race. It turned out to be a 'wet evening' and probably that was the biggest joy! Our first run in the rain!

I don't think any of the kids realised how 'big' an achievement this was in itself. I ran my 1st marathon at 38 years and these kids at 7 years and 10 years...I probably had a bigger smile at the end of this race than at the completion of my 1st 5km marathon. Though the 7-year old's were far more excited about the carnival post the race. 
7-year old's Zoya (left) and Anaika (right)

I personally believe that finishing any race is far more important than how well you do. I ran my worst in my first race and over time it has only got better.

As we enter the month of 'wishes', I hope this is the start of something new for all these kids. For some of them even their first medal! 

We of course celebrated this 'victory' as a family and I also wondered had I not been into my fitness regime, would my girl have still run this race?

And strangely, the christmas tree at our home is up a month in advance, just like our lights were up for Diwali a month before the festival. So my girl's preference of festivals may not be all that wrong!