I had no plans to write this blog but a close friend asked me this morning "where is the blog on your run yesterday"... I thought it may be boring to read again and again on my runs but on second thoughts this one was different and probably for the first time the feelings of completing this run was mixed!
I normally feel like a 'winner' after each run but yesterday after completing my 10km run at The Standard Chartered Marathon Singapore 2014, I felt like a 'survivor'.
A few months back, 4 of us from our running club- Salveo Mantra decided to run this race. I had run a 10km run a few weeks back, so it wasn't that unnerving for me (well that's what I thought)! But the day had different plans for me!
This category had 27,000 people running this year. For a second, I felt like I was running a 100 mt race. Is it that easy to run a 10km?? Getting to the 'start' line took us 25 minutes. So the frustrations had already set in. The sun was blazing at 7:30am!
The previous night while chatting with my husband, he had advised me that my goal with this race should be to better my time by 5-7 minutes as compared to my last run. So that was the goal I set out with in the morning.
Two kilometers into my run, and I could feel the pressure of the sun! I knew this 'run' was going to be tough. I had to reset my goals! So I decided to switch off my Runtastic and my borrowed Garmin watch. This race wasn't anymore about pace or speed. It was now all about just getting to the finish line. I just had to complete this race.
I don't know if it was the heat, the crowd, the route but it all seemed to add up. At several points I gave up and started walking. Something I have never done since I started running. All through I had several thoughts that pushed me- thoughts of the Half and Full Marathon runners, if they could, then I should surely try to finish mine, of my running club friends, hope they were fine and hanging on.
Was it just me giving up? Thankfully it wasn't. I had tonnes of people around me in walking mode. Struggling and pulling myself I got to the finish line. Though when I reached the finish line, this time around I was more relieved than excited. Strangely, even my timing wasn't all that bad after all considering I walked so much!
As I walked home from the train station, I had tonnes of people smiling at me seeing my 10km bib! I felt like a proud school girl returning home with a medal that I could show off to my two little girls! My feeling of disappointment had changed to a sense of pride.
My running in this race may have had a purpose. It probably made me mentally a bit more stronger. My determination was put to test yesterday. Will it be a half marathon next? Only time will tell....