How often have you come across the word 'mid-life' crisis....well we used to laugh about it a few years ago and now it stands in front of most of us....yes I can see I am there!!! Strangely it means different things to different people- for some it's about not starting to look old, for some it's a realisation of kids growing up, for some it's about doing things that have been on their 'to do' list for years, for some it's time to give up work and for some (like me) it's time to get back to work!!
I have been a 'muddled' head for the last 3 weeks... too many thoughts with no clarity. That's a bit rare with me as usually I am very clear and know exactly what I want (even my husband complains that I never ask for advice).
I had some (chance) meetings with some old acquaintances in the last few weeks. When I mean old they are from my work days. Of course they are where I left them but me, I have moved far ahead in life and totally away from my ambitions and (at one time) my only goals.
Of course these meetings took me back a few years. I enjoyed some of those moments and honestly was a bit swayed as well. There were moments of weakness and some moments of happiness and contentment. The jumbled head was unsure which one felt right!
I think for us (ex- career) and now stay at home mum's, the 'right' time of when to go back is so fluid. And the bigger question being do we ever want to go back to that pace of life? Also, we may never be able to go back to what we really did, and maybe this is what they call 'mid-life crisis' for some of us. At this stage is probably when you have to look for that alternate path that brings you stimulation, happiness, contentment, and some money (to indulge in buying that dress or bag you have eyed!!).
Having done public relations for 15 years, even today I can feel it's 'in me'. Be it while reading a feature, watching an interview, I still view it from a PR person's angle. But is that a career I would go back to? Yes but surely not at the pace I lived it then.
Lots of discussions happened in the house- with the man, my ex-partner who stays in Dubai (who truly is my 'professional' soul-mate) and dear friends. I have some clear answers, but am not sure of the path that will take me there. I (still) want to be there for my kids, I don't want to get too busy, I want that steady income (to buy that dress), I want to be able to write and I want to keep myself stimulated. Wow! that's not asking for much right??? My husband joked, " I will be happy if anyone will patiently hear out all your 'ifs and buts' and still say you have a job at hand"....
And then I came across this piece- an interview of Farhan Akhtar (me and am sure most of my Indian friends drool over him)- How Farhan Akhtar made plan A work
The feature answered a lot of questions for me. Yes be passionate about what you do, give it your best (be it your home or your work- giving both my best at the same time has always been a challenge for me!!), go with your gut, trust your friends (they know you really well) and hard work always pays!
A few days later and after an early morning run, my mind was all clear. I knew I had to find a (new) mid-path for myself. I was ready to say 'no' to anything that didn't give me a comfort, I did not fear rejection anymore. Maybe this is the start of a new path for me.
My writing, my running has shown me new ways to live and be happy. It has made me often stop and think about life, my wants, my happiness and learn to enjoy the moment. And the optimistic me feels that I think I just successfully crossed one of my mid-life crisis's and found a new path to some of my future dreams and aspirations, and the route to buy 'that' dress every month!