Thursday, 10 March 2016

the 'imperfectly perfect' me...

Thursday: At times, I would be thinking for days and I wouldn't know what to write about. Then there will be this talk I have with my girls (8 years- going on 10 and 3 years- going on 8!!!) and I have ideas running in my head...

My elder one and I often have these talks about my childhood, my work life, our life in Dubai, my single days. It often ends up in laughter as most of the stories don't sound like it was 'me'. She can't believe that her mum could have also made mistakes (or still does) and that I am 'imperfect'. A recent incident of me misplacing my younger one's all-time favorite 'Minnie Mouse' umbrella in a public bus, excited her as for a change it was my time to apologise to the 3-year old!

Over the years we all change. Even I have. More so after becoming a mother. If my elder one has taught me to be perfect, the younger one has taught me to 'chill'. If my home is 'spic and span', my cupboard is not. If I am 'perfect with my work deadlines', my route to deliver is surely not (more often than not am sweating about finishing a feature and my notes are a mess). If my husband asks for a paper, I am first to point a finger at him for misplacing it. Landing up at the airport with wrong flight tickets (thank god now for e-tickets), even on a wrong day, many a times walking out of my apartment without the keys, all this was norm for me. Yet I stood tall, independent, ready to face any challenge. My mum often worried (I'd like to believe she doesn't worry any more) and hoped that I would have a 'trouble free' day soon.

Today I stand at another crossroad of my life. It seems like a 'pit stop' I took and now it's time to move on. The girls have grown up (with one  getting independent day by day and the other in a big hurry to get there), they need me lesser (except for the rare school visits). But the last four years have changed me drastically- I have learnt to ease up, enjoy every moment I have, not sweat over the mistakes I make (even if it's related to motherhood) and surely not be too busy.

My venture into 'writing' was a path I discovered. It comes from my nature of 'accepting change' easily and 'being brave'. Brave to try something new, to fail, to fall and still get up and walk. I attribute that to the 'start up' streak in me.

After almost four years , I recently undertook a PR project for an old client of mine from my Dubai days. I was nervous. The expectations from me were high. I stumbled too but I absolutely enjoyed doing it. It proved PR is my 'first love' (and the only career I ever had). So what's next for me? Should I go back to my first love or stick to my new fond hobby. My likelihood of succeeding in PR is probably more, but it may take away a lot of the intangible luxuries I have so got used to. Then I remind myself- to be brave and to be ready for every change! I will let time take its course on this one....

The mesage this TED talk left me with is apt- to be comfortable with imperfection (click to read)- a lesson I have been working overtime on to impart to my 8-year old!!The strength to raise her hand in a class and admit that she doesn't get it, to accept she is not perfect with her Chinese and her spellings (though she forever argues that she will always have 'spell check' for back-up), and just to follow her heart. I think she is 'right' about the spellings bit- don't think her generation will ever write on paper!! 

The 8-year old's project
The last few days she had been talking of a project she has been working on at school. Even the 3-year old was curious of the status everyday. So today I was at her school to attend the exhibition.  Her's wasn't the best one, but it was an effort made from the heart and with no help- so it was special. The tower she created is a perfect example of her walking on the path of being 'imperfectly perfect'.

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