Wednesday (5:30am)- I had an interesting chat in my cab ride while I was heading back from the airport after seeing off family. There are only 2 countries in the world where I can 'dare' to step out by myself at such an hour of the day- Singapore and Dubai! I am certain that I will be home safe and sound...
Anyway to come back to my talk with the cabbie 'uncle'- that's what we call them fondly here! He was curious to know about 'safety' conditions in India. He asked me, "would I dare to be out alone at this hour in India". Of course most of us know what my answer would have been. He was very knowledgeable about India. He spoke about our political scenario, socio-economic conditions. He asked me if I faced a situation of panic what would I do? Well I had to explain to him that India is clearly divided into 2 sections- those who 'dare to speak' and those 'who dare not to speak'. I am lucky that I belong to the former. It was tough for him to apprehend it. In our short 10-minute drive I tried hard to explain to him that India is too complex and living in those conditions has its own challenges and charm. The huge socio-economic disparity is evident in society and that has a clear impact on our upbringing and thinking. Guess that left him thinking. But he left with me surprised of his knowledge of Indian politics. He spoke at ease on India's last 50-years political history and had an opinion on today's governance as well. And let me tell you he must have been atleast 70 years old!
It was an interesting platform for me to gauge what other mum's think (is it any different from me). I always feel (just may be), I am a little over protective of my kids and over-indulgent (though I try very hard not to). Though I 'think' I have lately tried to 'let loose' a lot. But both these features proved I am not the only one!
Someone asked me the other day, "So are you still home (and not back to work) because of your younger one?" And I said, " I am not really sure who I am home for (amongst both the kids)." I feel it's very tough to answer that.
A close friend asked me after reading my Mother's Day piece, on where are my thoughts. Well I think everyday should be celebrated as 'Mother's Day'. As mothers our role is like a fluid. We exist in a big way but somewhere we tend to get lost and merged.
When I did both my stories, I clearly noticed two aspects- some very emotional moments shared and some very practical and clear. I couldn't figure out where I stood. I would love and hope to be somewhere in the middle.
Today having come a full circle (from a tough corporate routine to a full-time stay at home mum to now trying to get work going on a part-time basis), I am quite ready for a mid-path. The day you can be at peace (with yourself) for letting go that money and that life, you can be a happy soul. I remember once someone telling me, "When you decide to quit, leave it at a high. Never at a low". That stayed with me always and when I quit, I was probably at my peak. So today the urge to go back to that is no more. I rather compensate that with a few laughter's I have with the kids when they come back from school, hear their silly stories for the day and indulge in some kind of 'stimulation' that keeps my mind ticking. This life is probably my best 'Mother's day' gift I could have given myself.