Wednesday, 15 October 2014

so how do you know you are right!

When i started blogging, i wondered when would i really 'think and write' i have the time and the mindset? Well strangely as it all started both fell into place. I would think anywhere- while running, walking in a mall, doing my groceries, traveling by bus....

Anyway today's topic has nothing to do with the a mother am sure we all go through a million questions in our head daily. Am i doing the right thing for my kid? Was my decision correct? Did i react the right way? Would my mum have handled this the same way? And i guess it gets more challenging as they grow..

A few months ago, someone asked me "So when do you plan to start pre-school for Ira?" She was probably 18 months then. And for a second I was a bit taken aback. Why would I put her in school so soon? I am home, so why should she get there this fast? I started my elder one when she was 2 years old (as I was a full-time working mum then), so the younger one could surely get a bit more time! I was totally at peace with my decision and months passed.

Then after she crossed two, I could sense the need from her end (mind you this time it wasn't from my end!). She eagerly waited to meet other kids (unfortunately she met more 6-year old's than kids her own age), she was ever ready to go somewhere in the morning. So this time, I was more prepared (that's what I thought) and got her enrolled into a pre-school (same one my elder one had attended so the comfort of the bus staff, school staff etc was very high).

Over time as a parent, you feel that you learn a lot from your elder one's upbringing (well that's what we think) and want to play it perfectly with the younger one! This was one of the decisions that I thought I was right about but alas wasn't!

Inspite of being a full-time working mother, I struggled to pick up and drop my elder one (even during office hours) but refrained from putting her on the bus (saying it takes too long, she's too small etc). I did the pick up and drop till she was three years old. 

So when it was Ira's turn, I thought I should correct some of my earlier mistakes and do things differently. When Ira got to pre-school we decided we are going to put her on the bus (both ways) from day 1, I spent only a day with her (instead of a week) in her class during the parent-student orientation week (my thought was she shouldn't get used to me being around and in this case I was right!)

And she was all set to get onto the bus and spend three hours at school. Every morning putting her on the bus would be a struggle (and I thought it would be the easiest since she had an elder sister to follow, she's been seeing her go for the last 2 years and blah and blah and blah)...I was so wrong in this case! This went on for more than a month. I would see her go crying but come back super happy!

One day I decided to break the routine and take her to school myself (by the public bus). We sang songs, we chatted, we walked and it was all fine. We continued this trend for a few more days. And she was super happy to be dropped off, to take that public bus every morning and wave a 'big' bye to me once she entered class!

And wow, I was wrong again! My formula of putting her on that school bus, thinking she is very independent, social etc and so will get used to it was wrong! She proved to me that every kid needs that time and space and as a mother you just may not be right with all the decisions you take! And it's fine to correct yourself and move on!

Now every morning our biggest excitement is that bus ride together and it's probably the best 15 minutes of my day!!

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